I haven’t made a personal post in a long time.
I am so over-whelmed by the amount of books to read and work to be done! There is so much information and change that I am a part of and it is exhausting. I am frequently loosing sight of my own happiness to be a part of a revolutionary cause that potentially will fail or dry my spirit.
I am spending 30+ hours a week smiling and nodding and another 30+ trying to educate others and constantly educate myself. I have built so many contacts but so few moving friendships. I find myself too busy to invest in the ones I love, and perhaps they are likewise too busy to invest in me.
My past friendships and partially my family relationships have vastly deteriorated. I’d be depressed if I had a moment to consider something beyond all the work that is to be done in the whole world. It is becoming all the harder to function in this society.
My ideologies, behaviour processing, and understanding of human structure and functionality have made the world seem all the more grotesque and upsetting.
I have to constantly remind myself that I can’t change the world, and I only have my piece of the pie, but fuck does my heart hurt with the awareness of worldwide oppression on an endless scale.
Current demanding reading list:
Finish Pedagogy of the Oppressed
The Ethical Slut
Finish Labor Laws for the Rank and Filer
Resistance and Rebellion
along with an endless sea of radicalist organizing material to go over.
Growing as an anarcho-syndicalist has been so empowering and exciting, but also so fucking discouraging and difficult.
And so it goes. Poo-twee?